Hello Darling. It's Been Far Too Long...

The human mind is capable of some very funny things.
When I was younger, I used to suffer from an occasional panic attack. Nothing serious or even noticable. Nothing I was ever treated for or considered to be a problem. It mostly came in the form of a feeling of intensity once in awhile when I couldn't get to sleep. I felt as if every noise in the room was heightened and that there was a sort of screaming voice in the center of my brain.

This can be a scary feeling for a kid, but fortunately I was able to overcome it on my own. My parents didn't even know about it. I couldn't explain it, of course, and because I was young, impressionable, and attending Catholic school, I thought it had something to do with my conscience. This "knowledge" made me extremely conscious of any decision I made, and caused me to be unneccessarily apologetic.

When I was a bit older, I met another boy at camp who actually suffered from legitimate panic attacks that caused him to hum to himself and rock back and forth from time to time. From speaking with him, I came to realize that this feeling wasn't something supernatural, but something fairly commonplace (that I was fortunate enough to only have to a small degree). Eventually I learned how to dismiss the feeling, or calm myself down to get rid of it. Next thing I knew, they were gone altogether.

The reason that I mention this is that this weekend was fun and strange. On Friday night, I absolutely couldn't force myself to go to sleep. Eventually it became so intense that I began to have one of these anxiety attacks, feeling that I would NEVER be able to get to sleep, and that I couldn't find any silence. After a couple minutes of no success with ignoring the situation, I managed to get up and take a shower to try to calm myself down. Somehow in this process, the problem went away and I drifted, fairly easily, off to sleep.

Janine's cousins: Maura and Jess came to visit with their respective boyfriends. And Anthony came over, too! It was an exciting weekend (what with the RED BULL BOXCAR RACE and all). There was a shitstorm on Saturday during the race, but it still managed to be fucking amazing.

Today, I went to Farley's Pub for the Eagles game. I'm not a football fan at all, but the Eagles owned.

Now I'm at work and about to watch a Sarah Palin speech, then read an article on it by Sam Harris. Ah, work.


EDIT:
I'm watching an insider documentary on MSNBC about John McCain's life, and what's the first thing to come up at the commercial break?? An ad for Alzheimers care. I just found that kinda interesting (funny).